Today’s reading in “My Utmost for His Highest” was such a great encouragement to me.  It speaks of a truth I know but forget all to often.  I’m trying to figure out what parts I should quote for refrence in my blog but am having a hard time excluding any of Oswald Chambers words because they are so so stinken great!

“Every time you venture out in the life of faith, you will find something in your common-sense circumstance that flatly contradicts your faith.  Common sense is not faith, and faith is not common sense; they stand in the relation of the natural and the spiritual.  Can you trust Jesus Christ where your common sense cannot trust Him?  Can you venture heroically on Jesus Christ’s statements when the facts of your common -sense life shout- “It’s a lie?”  On the mount it is easy to say- “Oh yes, I believe God can do it”; but you have to come down into the demon-posessed valley and meet with the facts that laugh ironically at the whole of your mount-of-transfiguration belief.  Every time my programme of belief is clear to my own mind, I come across something that contradicts it.  Let me say I believe God will supply all my need, and then let me run dry, with no outlook, and see whether I will go through the trial of faith, or whether I will sink back to something lower.”

Oh, he wrote a whole nother paragraph, but I’ll leave that be for now.

I once took one of those “Spiritual Gifts Tests” to see what my spiritual gifts were.  It was fun to see what the results showed.  My highest score was in the gift of faith. I have been known to step out onto that ledge of faith that is so against common sense- and I have been smirked at and judged.  On many a test of faith I have gone and seemingly past… but it seems as if my God is not content in seeing me pass just those.  He continually presents more tests to strech me and show that I do indeed place my faith in Him. 

One of those tests now is residing inside of me and looms a presentation date of December 28 2010.  A third kiddo in 4 years.  Ya, I will have under my care a newly turned 3 year-old, a about to be two-year old and a newborn. 

Now, I realize that this baby is a whole lot more than just a test of my faith… but I know God is asking me to trust Him, I know He is giving me more than I can handle because He wants to make sure that He is at the center and that He is my source of strength.  As a mother in this position, to be effective and positive- there is no where else to turn. 

I realize how crazy it is to most people when they look over at me pregnant with two toddler boys that I am doing my best to contain in public places.  I realize that those knowing that we are living on one mediocre income may take a deep breath and hope we are not part of our nations political and economic problem. 

 And you know what?  My faith totally waivers.  I know that some of their thoughts and comments are completely justified.  That there is plenty of truth to there unapproving eyes and ears.  Those comments of “better you than me!” or “you’re crazy,” or “how in the world are you going to do that?” - well, they have an effect on my confidence.  I know that I’m overwhelmed a good part of the time with my two demanding toddlers as of now.  That another one is going to be incredibly hard for me.  I realize that I am so unqualified and unworthy and unequipped for what I am taking on. 

What I can take comfort in is knowing that I have my partner in life right beside me, rooting me on and supporting me in every way he can.  Knowing that he is in this with me makes all the difference in the world. 

I take comfort in knowing that I am in my Fathers hands.  That my God has called me to be a mother, that he has told me to bear children and to train them, that he has promised that children are a blessing and that I can trust Him- I can know I am being obedient in this area.  I know  I can take my God at His Word.  That He will provide, that He will be my strength- that I can do all things through Him.

  And so, I will confidently go forth and pray that when I  have to come down into the demon-posessed valley and meet with the facts that laugh ironically at the whole of (my) mount-of-transfiguration belief I will stand firm in my faith that my God is with me and can do this parenting thing through me and do it well!  I will know that I am exactly where my Lord wants me to be, that I am following my calling and my ultimate reward will be so much better than playing it safe here in this life. 

Playing it safe and common sense like in this life-time would be boring, unchallenging, and not nearly as rewarding.  I love knowing that our family will be close knit, that my children will get to grow up together and get to do life together.  It’s comforting to know that that warm blessing of children laughing and that sweet sweet fellowship of family will live in my house for a long time.  And even though the hardships of training children will be overwhelming at times, the sweet feeling of accomlishment and satisfaction of watching my child make a good choice and become a quality person will be more than worth the blood, sweat, and tears.   

I will look forward to my heavenly reward as I run this grueling race through the valley and keep my eyes on the prize!

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